What is the Truth About Lies?

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We Are All Liars

Although we might not want to admit it, every single one of us is a liar, having started lying by the time we were three years old.

Estimates of how often we lie range from as little as once a day to as much as two to three lies every 10 minutes.

Despite our expertise in telling lies, we are not so good at separating fact from fiction. Even if we know which body language clues to watch for, we can typically only detect about 54% of lies.

Why We Lie

We might not like the idea of being untruthful, but we justify lying for the following reasons:

• To shift blame and avoid punishment
• To save face
• To avoid conflict
• To get our own way
• To get out of doing something
• To be nice or avoid hurting someone's feelings
• To make ourselves look better -- for fear of rejection or in order to gain something
• Because it's easier than telling the truth
• Because we can get away with it

Types of Lies

Lying is so embedded in our social behavior that we have developed many different kinds of lies, including:

• Barefaced / bold-faced lies -- obvious lies
• Big lies -- major lies
• Bluffing -- pretending that you are going to do something or are capable of doing so when you are not
• Bulls*** -- misleading nonsense
• Contextual lies -- giving false impressions by only telling part of the truth
• Exaggeration -- stretching the truth
• Minimization -- shrinking the truth
• Fabrication -- representing something that is made up as the truth
• Fib - an insignificant or minor lie
• Half-truths -- lies that contains some element of truth
• Lying by omission -- deception by leaving out important facts
• Perjury -- lying under oath
• Polite lies -- lie told to meet standards of politeness, such as "I really enjoyed the party," or declining an invitation due to "scheduling difficulties."
• White lies - small lies mostly considered harmless or tactful

Men's Lies vs. Women's Lies

Although some studies suggest that men lie more than women, others find that men and women lie about the same amount, but for different reasons.

• Men's lies are often intended to make themselves look better to other people.
• Women's lies frequently strive to make others feel better or to avoid hurt feelings.
• Men commonly exaggerate their height and earnings.
• Women commonly minimize their weight and age.
• Men tend to feel less guilty about lying than women.

Pros and Cons of Lying

Pros:

• People who exaggerate their achievements may actually end up fulfilling higher goals for themselves.
• People who lie to themselves may be happier than those who don't.
• Frequent liars may be perceived as friendlier than those who are more prone to bluntly telling the truth.

Cons:

• Liars may feel guilty and fear getting caught.
• People who frequently tell significant lies may wind up being viewed as untrustworthy.
• Honesty is one of the characteristics we most value in others. We don't like being lied to and see it as a betrayal.
• Telling major lies may be bad for your health: it speeds up your heart rate, raises your body temperature, and makes you tense.

Common Lies

Many lies are repeated countless times daily all around the world. How many of these popular lies have you told?

• "I'm fine, thanks."
• "I haven't had too much to drink."
• "No, your butt doesn't look big in that."
• "I had no signal on my phone."
• "You're looking great."
• "It's not you -- it's me."
• "My battery died."
• "The check is in the mail."
• "I'll call you."
• "This is delicious."
• "We're just good friends."
• "She's in a meeting."
• "I never got the message."
• "It was on sale."
• "I can quit anytime I want."
• "I'm not ready for a relationship."
• "I'm too sick to come in."
• "Sorry, I'm busy that night."