The following traits and characteristics are typically observed in most families - for only, first born, second, middle of three children and youngest children. However, there are always exceptions to the rule!
Only Children
- More spoiled and indulged.
- Enjoys being the center of attention.
- May feel special, or better than, other children. May appear to be aloof.
- Tend to be more self-centered and self-absorbed.
- Expects to be listened to, and get their own way.
- May be less co-operative and adaptable.
- Uses “divide and conquer” tactics to get their own way.
- Often, very driven, focused and (ultimately) successful; high achievers.
- As children, relate better to adults than peers.
First Born Children
- Is used to being the center of attention.
- Feels they should gain superiority over others.
- Usually believes that they are right.
- Has controlling tendencies.
- Generally seeks attention through conforming to the wishes and expectations of authority figures. Is eager to please. If this doesn’t work, will be rebellious and non-conformist.
- Tends to be highly competent, focused, diligent, hard working, responsible and reliable.
- May strive to help, and to protect the rights of, others.
- Is generally successful, and a high achiever.
Second Children
- May feel they are never fully recognised and appreciated.
- Are continually trying to catch up and be noticed in their own right.
- Tends to have the opposite traits to the first born in their family, and to develop abilities that are not exhibited by the first child.
- May be rebellious.
- May be less driven, more laid back and less success oriented.
- May lack self-confidence or suffer from low self-esteem.
Middle of Three Children
- Often feels that life is unfair, or feels unwanted, unnoticed and unloved.
- Feels as if they don’t really have a place in their family.
- May be seen as/ adopt the role of “problem child”.
- Is flexible and adaptable.
- Usually has good relationship skills (are good listeners, are patient, have excellent negotiation skills, are empathic, understanding and compassionate.)
Youngest Children
- Has many of the traits of an only child.
- Tends to feel that others are more capable and competent.
- Expects others to take the initiative, make decisions and assume responsibility.
- May not be taken seriously, and may feel as if they are never taken seriously.
- Skilled at getting others to help them, and to getting their own way.
- May struggle with feelings of inferiority.
- More laid back, light hearted, amusing and entertaining, creative and unself-conscious.
- Often affectionate and charming.
